haha, my family just all had a spaz attack, first it started out with justin who screamed and cried out of nowhere cos he saw a bug/ LMAO and he freaked everyone else out and i oculd hear them all screaming and crying and laughing now justin's all scarred.

Eh, I really want to let go of this stupid journal, but I have so many memories of like tuts and stuff saved on it. Hmm..Maybe I'll just keep this thing on public and then look back or whatever..


UGh, Im so bored. And stressed and sick. And sick because I'm stresseddd.

i think its time for a new livejournal. i forgot the name i wanted for it though.

eh, well, i'll always remember this one :)

I've jsut been so lazy lately, jeez.

I'm so bored right now, and tired.

My trip to NYC sucked ass, lke majorly. :|

I'm failing gym, and the rest of my classes? My grades are dropping.

And I'm too lazy to pick them up.

I'm so tired, and it feels like I have no time anymore.

Aghhh.

so i've been meaning to update.

i've jsut either been to tired, lazy, or bored to write about my life, which has been crappy lately.

today was a half day, and it toally wasted it. i didnt even do anything even tho i stayed homee.

we got elvis a gophone, after all my research and stuff, hes really happ. i'm glad we can communicate...oh theres a text fom him..

okay, anyways, i have an 87 currently in dottolo, failing gym really bad, and today was the ewy honor roll party, kickballs and stuff which i didnt go to.

also fighting with sam again. hahaha how great is that :|

:| :|


the building thing just didnt work out.


kay imma be going to do some icon tutorial or something, dont feel bad blog, i have nt been there in agesss.s


lun
kath



ps. we're supposed to go to a barbecue today and i guess i'd go but eh. i'm dirty, cos i just finished some crab like an hour ago, and im tired and i really need a shower, and OH YEAH...im SOOPER lazy


theres elvis again..

Yeah, I haven't blogged in forever.

I'm supposed to be in bed now. Going to Rochester in the morning. It's gonna be total shit, Imma be tired.

Didn't go to school today. Took two pain killers and I'm feeling better. Now the headache's coming back. time for two more.


YEah, the doctor said I can't take six anymore. He said my liver is "dying"

Whatever.


Just wnated to mention, on Thursday, in Social Studies, Tazz, me, Malik, and Angel were just exploring our inner childhood again. We were singing crazy themesongs and laughing. Bob the Builder, Danny Phantom, Mutaz is so effin funny lmao. We shared a buncha stories too, it eas crazy.


Well, good night ♥ :]


LOVE.


ps. BEING SICK WAS TOTAL HRLL :|

And now Jsutin's got the flu :| Oh, and I also slept like four hours today!

I am no longer going to Philly.

And Dad didn't even really care that I wasn't going.

The stupid snow messed up his schedule.

And now everything is all ruined.

Julie meeting travis, lvis and Sai quality time, damn it all.



fckfckfckfck.

And Dad jus keeps making me madder. I wanna keeeel him.

i'm at julie's.


gosh, dad actually let me out.

her and maggie are talking in the hallway.

nick really bugs me. :| i dont know why.

he acts like he's so hurt when i dont hug him.

please.

he has everyone he needs, i'm fine without him.

whatdda fucking manwhore.


kay, going now. dunno when jules and maggie are gonna walk in..

I simply cannot believe we're to attend school tommorow.


Haha. British.

--

I know I haven't updated. Life has been lousy lately. Cathy pissed Julie off, which pissed me off, so we got into this fight. Oh, whatever. I really don't care anymore if Jamie beats me up. I'd jsut laugh in their faces.

We were supposed to go bowling tonight, but I dunno when "tonight" is, because Mom's not home. It's beginning to irritate me.

Im talking to Noelle. Lawd its good. Cos I get to swear on and on :]]

I dunno what else to say, Dad's karaoeke is distracting me.


Note: I'd also like to add, the feelings I write in here aren't all me. Sometimes I say things that don't make sense, and I don't realize it. I just write what I write, even if it's something like lotion or whatever. Don't judge me for it.



<3,
kath

-ps, i think maybe a day or two before buffalo, if i remember?


only lawd knows how long i havent posted in here. i either didnt bother or knew about it, then forgot about it.

alot has happened, hehe.

i joined facebook, well, i already did, but i got kind of the hang of it. i really kiinda like it too :)) it really is better than myspace!! :D


havent talked to jaimie lately. eh. i think i should stop trying

idf is coming very good, i really like it lmao. ashike kicks ass.


i learned today i'm making it to philly. i'm oober happy i dont have to worry about money for a plane ticket or a bus ride. dad's taking us there taking us back. i cant be more happy since i worried like all spring break about it :] i hope nothing goes wrong :o

justin;s home right now and i know he wish he went with mom and the crew to prie chopper cos i cant entertain him. he walked in and asked for the ocmputer. i gotta pee, so away i go.


love,
kath



hm. i wonder if anyone ever reads this lol. theyneed to comment if so :) <3

i dont know what to think no more.

i dont think i did.


i really don't.

not so loved.

i just remembered something.

and woke up from the ebst dream ever..thank christy!

anyways, i remmeber buying a huge box of those candy hearts in 1st grade, and jordan i looking at them.



who knew?

:D

ugh, i really need to photoshop mroe if i wanna get better.


*yawn* today was  along day. i got a really good sleep last night, woke up at 7, dentist, didnt go to school. i missed my field trip :[

but at least i get to stay home tommorow! HALF DAY.


i dont think mom's gonna let me go out with everyone i kinda want to. but then again, i wanna sleep too. *yawn*

anyways, i'm going to bed now

.33

Hayden Panietierre [sp?] is pretty sweet!

Dammit.

My heart hurts. And I don't know why. I don't know.

I mean, it happens to everyone. The heart hurting, right? I just don't get over it easy.


Well, you can blame me. Or you can't. It just happens, it seems every two weeks with me.


Damn.


I don't know what to say. Sometimes I try not to like guys. Or I try to like the gay ones. So they can't end up liking my friends.

I don't get it.


Nick's mom was werong. Society doesn't make me think I'm overweight.

The friends that tell me I'm not do.


There always seems to be something wrong with me.

And I don't know why.


I don't.


I do.

I just don't wanna say it.


Cos it'll make everything be weird. it'll make everything change.


I just feel so bad.


I'm such a dumbass. I really am. I can't be myself. Around anyone. Ever.


I feel bad for how I treated Nick. But he really scared me. I feel fat when someone lifts me up. I feel like if I get close to anyone it'll slap me in the face again. I feel as if anyone comes near me, I'll cry. Or I'll just want to bleed out and die right then.


And I don't know why.


I thought I was fine yesterday.


But that was when I was ignorant.

okay, so i'm just gonna straight to last wednesday.

wednesday -

nick's birthday! me, cathy, julie, josh, maggie, and nick went around. julie and nick had done alot of walking. they kept getting lost in the morning when they were going around for their silly string. they had a shopping spree at dollar tree <3 the whole day was great. dude, i regret being scared i was gonna get caught. it was TOO fun <3 cemetary, runnig, and josh's beautiful, beautiful line.

"this is how we do it." *coconut soda*

okay, i can't say much about that day, overall, it was so great :D nick threw so many people in the snow. i was one. noooot happy =P

saturday--
oh man. i was in some deep shit after today! I left the house and didn't get home untill like 11:30. it was EXCELLENT. I think Nick's broke now. Poor boy. I feel bad, haha. It was HIS birthday money, afterall.

i posted this, now i;m editing. saturday was fun, the end. i just posted and cut myself off cos nick came,

--

I'm starting a new entry.

I was sleeping, then I got out of bed. Eh, stuff. talked to Diana a little in a while, or it seems like it!

Found Dot's little space thing, pretty funny. Completely on accident. I'm listening to his song..*goes to enter in song box* Ican't find the band lyrics or anything. The song is good though. I messaged him and he aske dme who I was, and he read my reply to it, but nothing happened in tch, i admit, i was kinda nervous x]] he poked me on top of the head, and i was so freaked out. but it was just to run an errand. ew. what if my hair was gross.

he went from bring so cool for like forty minutes[during a class! he stuck a friggen' paper clip through his tongue, someone mentioned it after i said i wanted to see him emo!!!], and i missed him cos we had stupid subs, for a while, and now he's back, and he's scaring me again. its like..his face, just screams "COLIN!!!" Anyways, 92 in his class. I am nooooot happy, trust me. Its cos the note didn't have animation, it couldn't actually, and some of my keys on Mavis BEacon, the typing program sucked, and my 'dream room' sucked ass. I'm doing the house fo extra credit though, haha. it's such a fake house.

So I realized I didn't blog for like a week, and I was lying in bed thinking.


[Right now, I only have like thirty minutes or more untill Dad wakes up at 1 to go to work. =P]

Anywyas, I was thinking about COlin. And I don't know why again.It's so STRANGE. Cos I guess I realized that I was thinking of stuff I wish he'd do, but in real life, he'd never do it. And I keep thinking that if my mind returns to him,its for a reason. But I'm gonna try and stop. Just ocmpletely stop like I did in September. Cos it's all make believe..

Cos you see,it wou;dn't work. There's rarely pros, if we ever in a relatioship or got married and that shit, but ther'es alto of cons. I'm not athletic enoughfor him, we disagree on stuff, so if we had children, it'd be horrid. I bore him, adnd he's not the guy that likes ugly girls so he'll cheat on me an d it'll be a disaster.


MAN. I am so corrupted, thinking like this. I don't like the friends he has, so that'd suck in our "relationship"


Then again, this is all make believe.


Anywyas, when I psoted earlier, I said I had to write later, cos Cathy was right beside me. Thinngs aren't weird with her, but I'm seeing that I'm more alert to when she's a bit lonely, so I can just start talking about anything. It just feels weird. She only said the apology so our relationship wouldn't be like Sam's, and I guess that's all it was for. But I'm careful of what I do.

We cooked cupcakes at Rachel's today, who is a simple DARLING. Cupcakes were so good, we had so much fun decorating them, and then we realized it was her dad's chocolate cake mix. OOPS. he wasn't happy. Ahd dinner at her house, SPAGHETTI. Her mom tohught I was lying about it taking m elike two hours to wash dishes but whatever.


About the Sam thing. lots of stuff happened with her and Nick. I keep thinking I'll remember all this forver, but I know I won't, so I feel like writing i t down. I didn't know Nick and Jenna went out, word is they broke up..There's nick, he just isgned on. eek. Won't Im him.


Just sent a quick message to Jaimie..=\ I'mg etting paranoid. i jsut wanna be good friends with her.


I'll end here now xDDDD

Haven't wrote in a while, I'll blog later tonight.

With Cathy and Julie. :]

They ate out my fucking house. HAHA.

Math test wasn't too bad today. Got like one wrong, that's it?


So yeah, they're explaining The Notebook to me.

I'm out of my mind, not really typing right now


See ya laterz :)

Alot of people are upset with me.

Julie, Carol, yeah.

I deserve it, I know. I'm sorry I haven't written.

My stomach is starving right now. I ate a meal today, that's it.

It's late, I cancelled my quesadilla with mom and asked for chinese instead. I know I'm gonna eat it and get fat. And I'll overeat because I;m so hungry right now.


:( I;m sorry Carol & JUlie.


Sorry's not enough though =\

--Edit.

Mom just dialed. Here comes an angry splee.


No food. Because she just got done with some ho that decides to walk in the fucking shop at 11 whatever at night. No food. I tried to shrug it off, but I'm hungry.